abrupt turn

Ok, this blog has taken a turn for the worse recently and I'm in no shape to turn it around. So, I'll leave it up to good ol' Jerry instead:

JERRY SEINFELD: I’ll tell you what I like about that mad cow disease… [audience laughs]… I like the fact that we’re attempting to blame it on the cows! “They are crazy!” [audience laughs]. “They are nuts!” “These cows are out of their minds!” [audience laughs]. Of course the cows are thinking “Oh yeah… You’re drinking me, you’re eating me, you’re wearing me, you’re sneaking up on me and tipping me over…” [audience laughs and claps]. “Yeah, and I’M a little off mentally?!” [audience laughs]. “That’s why we’re mad!” [audience laughs]. Maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe we’ll eat a little less. Everyone in this room is trying to lose a little weight. A little… something. Everyone’s trying to lose something. And not one of you is doing it. [audience laughs]. I’m not doing it. No one is doing it. Not one person is losing weight! Not one! [audience laughs]. Do you think that a possible explanation could be that we are still trying to find ways to stuff MORE CHEESE into A PIECE OF PIZZA?!!! [audience laughs]. We’ve hollowed out the crust. [audience laughs and claps]. We hollowed out the crust about 3 years ago. Now we’re double-layering the foundation. I understand they have a new thing coming out… They will actually bake you’re head right into the pizza! [audience laughs]. Pizza Hut. It’s called ‘Hey Pizza-Face’ [audience laughs]. And you wear the pizza and attempt to eat your way out of it. [audience laughs]. Too much food! Too much food! What about this commercial for Subway Sandwiches. This guy Jarred. [audience laughs]. Is anyone buying this for a second? He supposedly lost like a hundred pounds on an all hoagie diet. [audience laughs]. Does it not boggle your mind to contemplate the insane quantities of food this disgusting human being must have been eating before… [audience laughs and claps] …if he is now slimming down on a strict regimen of meatball heroes?! [audience laughs]. Did he have like a Dunkin Hines IV in his arm just green-lining frosting? No, we’re all supportive of Jarred. We’re rooting for Jarred. In fact if anyone knows Jarred, please say hello for me. [audience laughs].