Because I'm fat, I'm fat, ya know it I'm fat

I have a pretty good self-image of my body. I have been working out habitually for 10 years, and through my soccer rituals, do a healthy amount of cardio. Now I must admit, moving downtown has meant more nights out, more alcohol, more takeout. But even then I am calorie conscious - boiled rice as opposed to fried rice, salad instead of fries, vodka and soda as opposed to vodka and anything else. So it was with a wide smile of disbelief that I responded to the figures bandied about by the consultant at the gym after a brief fitness evaluation:

a) 21% body fat. I almost slapped her across the face. Nope she wasn't kidding. There were 4 categories on the chart, very politically correct as you would imagine (no category for "Get the fuck on a treadmill fat-ass") they were: very good, good , fair, needs work. I fell into the final one, which basically equates to "Get the fuck on a treadmill fat-ass".
b) 15 lbs - the amount of weight I've gained (about the same as a small dog) since I last weighed myself. Granted it's been 6 months, but Good Mary Mother of Baby Jesus that's about the same amount of weight that Rosie O' Donnell gained the day after her neighbour's dog went missing.

The previous time I was shocked about my body composition was coincidentally the last time I did a fitness evaluation at a gym. So the obvious question is: are they fixing the test to make sure people sign up for training/nutrition counselling? or am I just deluding myself every time I glance at the mirror. The sceptic in me says the former, reality says the latter.

SO, I am now cleaning up my act. Less fatty foods, less alcohol, more salad and protein. I am already bored of the new me.
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Saw a bunch of movies, here's my take:
Rambo - bloody violent, quite possibly the most hideously violent movie I've seen. Quite cathartic in the end.
AVP2: Requiem - awful piece of shit. 86 mins I will never get back.
Michael Clayton: awesome movie, just my type of flick - smart, well acted and full of high-level intrigue. I wish I had written the script.