Rantings from a Madman.

In the next few days I will be posting some rants. As you might suspect, I do have a lot of time on my hands these days. Maybe too much. Bear in mind these rants were written in the witching hour, and I cannot attest to my mental stability at that time.

Workout goons

Is there any goon more moronic than the gym goon? These people are found in gyms across the world, and are despised like that last bit of toothpaste that refuses to exit the tube. But few people actually say anything. Well, enough is enough. The other day I ran into one of these Schwarzenegger-loving, steroid-chugging, self-tan dripping gym goons. This guy was so dark I think at one point he actually stopped reflecting light altogether. I was quietly going about my gym routine, when this humanoid bear took time out from checking his abs in the mirror to comment on a problem with my “form”. I couldn’t see him, but the faint whiff of coconut alerted me to his self-tanning presence. In an alternate reality, I slowly unscrew my water bottle, dump its contents over his head, and walk off. In reality, I nod politely, murmur something about the importance of good technique, and exit stage left.

Is there some sort of reflective-surface-worshipping, muscle-adoring cult that we are unaware of? If so, who is their God? George Hamilton? I mean, come on people, get a grip!