My future wife
OK, so turns out Natalie Portman is in town shooting a movie with Dustin Hoffman. I know this because first my sister bumped into "Rain Man" himself in Yorkville. And then one of my bro's friends Steve bumped into Natalie in Yorkville too. Apparently tiny Natalie was walking a tiny dog, right past Steve. Bewildered, he stopped her. This was their 2 minute conversation (p.s. this is probably not exactly how it went but you get the gist of it).
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Steve: Hey, are you Natalie Portman?
Nat: Yes. ( I assume she smiles that movie star smile.)
Pause. Natalie starts walking away.
Steve: Hey Natalie, hold on a sec. I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Steve X.
Nat: Hi, Steve X, nice to meet you.
Steve: That's amazing.
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Now, I'm not sure what happened after that, but it'll be a variation on the old "after an awkward pause she politely said goodbye" theme. I'm not sure what would've happened had I met her. It would most likely be one of the following :
a) too shocked to move, I stare silently until she is out of sight, then quietly say "hey Natalie, nice to meet you." I know, sad.
b) get down on one knee and say "Natalie, you were born to be my wife". Then, for lack of a ring, pull out a lifesaver and jam it on her tiny finger. "I now pronounce you my wife."
c) pretend faint right in front her in the hope that she'll give me mouth to mouth.
Good Natalie movies: The Professional; Beautiful Girls; Closer; V for Vendetta and Garden State. Go see them.
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P.S Guess where I'm going this weekend? Um, yeah. Yorkville baby!
posted by Levs at 2:08 AM
4 Comments:
the film is Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium - and if you so much as look at her in the wrong way, I'll backslap you into the future!
I've got permission from JoJo to meet Natalie...and I intend to - so let's go to Yorkville m'boy...let's!
I've got the edge on you anyways, b/c I speak the Hebrew and so do she...and you do not. muahahahahahahah - ya, you're right, she's damn hot! yummy.
peace.
4:20 AM
For the sarcastic bastard who doesn't like stories: You can piss off.
One day in some place many moons ago, I was walking through a mall minding my own.
As I was walking, I kept my eyes ahead of me, keeping track of where I was going, trying not to walk into anything as I so often do.
As I looked ahead, I noticed a cute, petite girl with a cute, petite dog.
She saw me looking at her and a slight smile came across her lips. Even though slight, it was unmistakable, it spoke volumes. The smile said: "Yes, I'm famous, it's me..."
The problem is, I didn't know who she was. I think it may have been Christina Ricci, who, I have since googled and confirmed that she is in fact petite, and there are pictures of her with a petite dog but this is no hard evidence.
9:07 AM
Yeah Stevie was on top of the world. It was actually quite scary. The guy let the whole world now. So what you said hi to a celerity and she politely ran for the hills. How is this a good thing?
Yes she is hot and beautiful...I just don't understand how you are all so star struck.
9:38 AM
I don't make a habit of criticizing posters, but that story was kind of pointless. In fact, it was totally pointless.
2:28 PM
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