Because I'm fat, I'm fat, ya know it I'm fat

I have a pretty good self-image of my body. I have been working out habitually for 10 years, and through my soccer rituals, do a healthy amount of cardio. Now I must admit, moving downtown has meant more nights out, more alcohol, more takeout. But even then I am calorie conscious - boiled rice as opposed to fried rice, salad instead of fries, vodka and soda as opposed to vodka and anything else. So it was with a wide smile of disbelief that I responded to the figures bandied about by the consultant at the gym after a brief fitness evaluation:

a) 21% body fat. I almost slapped her across the face. Nope she wasn't kidding. There were 4 categories on the chart, very politically correct as you would imagine (no category for "Get the fuck on a treadmill fat-ass") they were: very good, good , fair, needs work. I fell into the final one, which basically equates to "Get the fuck on a treadmill fat-ass".
b) 15 lbs - the amount of weight I've gained (about the same as a small dog) since I last weighed myself. Granted it's been 6 months, but Good Mary Mother of Baby Jesus that's about the same amount of weight that Rosie O' Donnell gained the day after her neighbour's dog went missing.

The previous time I was shocked about my body composition was coincidentally the last time I did a fitness evaluation at a gym. So the obvious question is: are they fixing the test to make sure people sign up for training/nutrition counselling? or am I just deluding myself every time I glance at the mirror. The sceptic in me says the former, reality says the latter.

SO, I am now cleaning up my act. Less fatty foods, less alcohol, more salad and protein. I am already bored of the new me.
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Saw a bunch of movies, here's my take:
Rambo - bloody violent, quite possibly the most hideously violent movie I've seen. Quite cathartic in the end.
AVP2: Requiem - awful piece of shit. 86 mins I will never get back.
Michael Clayton: awesome movie, just my type of flick - smart, well acted and full of high-level intrigue. I wish I had written the script.

Cupid's day.

Thought I'd give a quick update, but I have been reminiscing over old posts, so this will be really quick. I'm coming up to post #250 - been blogging for over 2 years, which seems like an accomplishment.

So, moving on - today was really the first Valentine's Day in a long time that I have actually felt lonely. I went to the mall and saw guys running around buying heart shaped candies, scented body lotions, flowers etc...and I felt a bit like an outsider looking in on a strange ritual. Then walking back from the gym along Queen Street, I saw couples walking arm in arm, gazing into each other's eyes...and I again felt like I really was missing out on something.

But Valentine's Day itself is a total load of crap. A windfall for card and candy makers, a New Year's gift for flower shops, a winter's bonus for couples-friendly restaurants, the day is really a crazy commercial mind-fuck. Love your loved ones. Treating them well should not be a treat. Love is not bought with sickly sweet heart shaped candies.

It is bought with diamonds.

To sleep, glorious sleep!

insomnia

So it is 4:20am on Saturday morning, and after 2.5 hrs of trying to find a comfortable enough position to fall asleep in, I have given up. I got home early Friday night after another mild, brief bout of post-work drinking and promptly lay down on my bed, inducing what turned out to be a 4 hour nap. Fast forward to 11:3opm and I wake up cursing, knowing that in a few hours I would find myself in exactly this position - restless, tired and yet fully, completely awake.

Nevertheless, a good time for an update:
Work... continues to go well, for which I am thankful. At a time when my expenses have skyrocketed, this sustained period of prosperity is very much welcome. I continue to learn how to manage people, and do it well, even though there are times where I fail to manage myself.

Downtown living...is something I have adjusted to with ease, and am loving it. Just last night I went over to a buddies place a couple of blocks away to BBQ some mammoth steaks (in the freezing cold) and enjoy a couple of bottles of vino. With a wine-fueled contentedness, we all headed to a local strip club, where I proceeded to find out how people spend so much money at these places, and had a great time doing it. Had I been living in the 'burbs this night just simply would not have happened.

Social life...is progressing and there is some promise. Last weekend I turned the big 2-9 and the celebration was grand. It is very comforting to be surrounded by your good friends and family as you proceed into old-age. It's a "hey bud, we're all growing old, it's not only you!"- so- let's- get- trashed sort of feeling.

Anyhow, that's about it. I now find myself at the insomiac's crossroads: do I lie down and try to salvage any sort of rest, though knowing fully well there's a good chance I'll be rest-less, or do I just say fuck it and turn on a movie, knowing full well it'll likely wind up ruining my Saturday?

It's a tough choice. I think I am going with the latter. Anyhow, this should be a great weekend, and I hope you all make the most of it.

cheers
Marto