Howzit my china!!!

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Rantings...continued.

Editor: The original post caused an outrage - the following post has been torn apart by the censors, and I can no longer vouch for its artistic integrity. ..... M.L.

OK, due to an overwhelming response, and upon urging from various media outlets, I have decided to post the next "rantings" issue. I hope it lives up to the hype. Here goes:

Picking up girls – It’s a nerve-wracking, humiliating exercise. I mean it really should be simple. Guy meets girl, sparks fly, guy gets number, smiles giddily, boasts to his friends and there it is, a successful pickup. Instead it goes something like this. You see an attractive girl. She notices you, and you notice her noticing you. You pretend not to notice her noticing you. This goes on for 10 minutes too long. You run through some pick up lines with your friends. They’re all cheesy. And then it’s time for the pre-pickup psych up… What’s the worst that could happen?! You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take!

Needless to say, after all the build-up, the pressure is mind-numbing and now you’re as likely to make the move as you are to man the next lunar space mission.
My advice for the novice: keep it simple. An eloquent "hey there!" plus a warm smile goes a long way. Save the pinch on the ass for later (just kidding censor, take it easy ok?)

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