Good times.

OK, here are a few pics from my b-day. To all of you in the pics, I know you might not want your faces on the Net, so this is my Mission Impossible post - this message will self-destruct in 48hrs. Feel free to save any of the pics before then. I can't remember much after 10:30pm, but I do remember it was fun. Cheers! P.S I have no idea who this girl with Jordan is...good work buddy!

KABOOM!

the year begins...

Happy year of the Dog! This weekend was a lot of fun...it was great to be surrounded by family and good friends and lots of booze and U2 in the background. I now enter the 27th year of my life in style. Let's hope it lives up to the hype. Fuck that. This year will make the hype seem modest and trifling. To those of you who helped me celebrate, I thank you.

Being as I'm still a little on the hungover side (see above), this will be short and sweet.

Song of the Day.

Running to Stand Still - U2. You knew a U2 song was coming sooner rather than later. This one was pretty close to my state of mind the last couple of months.

"And so she woke up
Woke up from where she was lyin' still.
Said I gotta do something
About where we're goin'.

Step on a fast train
Step out of the driving rain, maybe
Run from the darkness in the night.
Singing ah, ah la la la de day
Ah la la la de day."

Life is...

a train flashing past the countryside. The speed is exhilirating for a while, then it seems to accelerate, becoming a little too fast for your liking. Staring out the window you see moments of beauty, but they pass by before you can fully comprehend them. So you decide to take control of the train and make your own path.

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Peace.
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Odds and ends plus a little rant.

This blog will be multi-faceted. I feel the need to rant, but first:

Song of the Day

Anybody Seen My Baby - Rolling Stones. I dig this song. Catchy melody, sort of grunge/pop. Download it.

"Anybody seen my baby
Anybody seen her around
If I just close my eyes
I reach out and touch the prize
Anybody seen her around

Lost, lost and never found
I must have called her a thousand times
Sometimes I think she's just in my imagination "

Life is...

your Ipod randomly picking out the only song out of hundreds that you really want to hear.

Now that that's over with....

I never thought I'd write anything political in this blog, but I can't believe what happened today. Today Palestinians overwhelmingly voted Hamas to a clear majority in the Palestinian government, in a move that can only set the path to peace in the Middle East alight with fire and cover it in thorns. Who, in their right mind, willingly votes a bunch of terrorists to run their country? Granted the Palestinians had a choice between the lesser of two evils. But why Hamas, who reason with suicide bombings and rule with militant rhetoric? Hamas, whose leaders have no experience in goverment, and espouse with venom the destruction of Israel.

Congratulations, you've sent your country back to the stone age.

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As if this blog wasn't random enough:

I watched the first 40 minutes of The Fugitive earlier, and damn if it isn't one of the greatest movie beginnings/setups ever. Tension, drama, action. I love this movie - pulling myself away from the TV took a lot of effort. Harrison Ford vs. Tommy Lee Jones, what a combo. That Oscar for Tommy was well deserved. It's one of the best movies of the 90's.
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have a good weekend folks, I know I will.

cheers

27 yikes....

Tomorrow I am 27 years old. I am on the verge of old age, or maybe I'm already there. There's a depressing post somewhere in this topic, but I refuse to write it. Instead I'm continuing with the next wildly popular (so I'm told) installments of:

Song of the Day:

We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel. You can't beat these lyrics:

"Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline
Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan

"Wheel of Fortune", Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz
Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law
Rock and roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore"

Life is....

that exact euphoric moment before your tired head touches the pillow, clearing your mind and rendering everything else that happened during the day meaningless.

(Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.)

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New features

OK, I am at a total loss as to what to write. So I'm starting a couple of features. One is Song of the Day, which should be self-explanatory. If not, go to www.iamatotalmoron.com. The next one is "Life is..." which will hopefully lead to some smart observations about everyday life. Then again, I'm the one who will be writing these, so you never know what you're going to get. Let's start, shall we?

Song of the Day

Sade - Ordinary Love. Admit it, you like this song too.

Life is...

like a box of chocolates. On good days, you find a new box, and can pick your favourite. On other days, all the good chocolates are gone, and you're left to pick between the strawberry creme filled concoction or the dark-orange-filled nightmare of a chocolate. How you deal with this second decision will determine whether your life is rewarding or disappointing.

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(Tony Robbins, watch out you big toothed mofo! There's a new psycho-babbler in town!)

Darwin's Dogs

As I was walking the little animal (dog) today, I thought about a question that I realize has occupied my consciousness on more than one occasion: how would Darwin explain the evolution of modern day pets, particularly dogs? Darwin used terms like natural selection to explain his theory, which basically says that nature "selects" organisms better suited to surviving their local conditions. Or more comprehensively, if you have variation, differential reproduction (this is key), and heredity, you will have evolution by natural selection as an outcome. And back to simply this: nature picks out the traits that increase the chance of survival and releases the ones that do not.

So how did dogs survive, and what is their purpose for existing in our ecosystem? Now I'm not about to write a boring post about evolutionary biology (too late?), but it's an interesting question because my little dog has no survival instincts whatsoever. It's not fast enough to catch any prey or outrun its predators, or strong enough to kill anything bigger than a pigeon. It does, however, raise its leg once in a while and squirt urine in a remarkably straight line. This, however, does not count as a particularly effective survival tactic. OK, so I'm being a little facetious - the urine marks their territory, which I suppose is a warning to territorial rivals, and also allows them to remember where they have been (a lá Hansel and Gretel and their ingenious use of pebbles...). Point of fact, without humans my little dog would not survive. So how did dogs survive until humans "figured out" that they might be cute little animals to have around the house?

OK, it's late. I might start up this issue again in a little while. Then again, maybe not. Am I the only one who thinks about this?

cheers.

A tale of two defeats.

The title perhaps overpromises, for a tale this will not be. Liverpool, as many of you may know, are my sports team. The one and only. When they win, I'm happy, when they lose, I'm not. When our rivals lose I'm happy, when they win I'm not. When Liverpool is playing there are few places I'd rather be than watching the game.

I'm a pretty competitive guy and when Liverpool plays it feels as though I am playing in the match as well. As such I (occasionally) taste the bitterness of defeat and experience with the team the unbridled joy of a hard fought victory. When we play Manchester United or Everton, this experience multiplies tenfold. Today Liverpool, despite having the run of play, lost to a Man United goal in the final minute of play, ending a terrific winning streak, and denting our hopes, although slim, of challenging for the title. Needless to say the atmosphere around the house was bleak today. Still, I had indoor soccer playoffs to look forward to in the evening, so that brightened my mood.

As you might have guessed from the title, we lost our playoff game. It was a rowdy affair, and the second half threatened to turn into a wrestling exhibition. We missed a potentially game-tying penalty 3 minutes from the end, and that settled our fate. The silver lining was that the early exit allowed the team to go for beer and wings - definitely a nice silver lining, and although the beer didn't make me totally forget losing 2 important games in one day, it did make the memory sufficiently blurry.

That's all I got folks.

stay cool. (that expression dates me, but it's a good one...)

The numbers game.

Does anyone out there know how I can get a counter on this page? I want to see if the number of people who visit this blog daily is 1,3, or 6. Because while writing this blog is occasionally fun, it's quite a lonely business. Maybe if everyone who reads this post could write an anonymous comment, just writing #1, #2, #3 etc...thanks!

This weekend is Liverpool vs Man United - you can catch it on Sunday 11am on the Score. Probably one of the most looked forward to games in every season, because the rivalry is massive. They are 2 teams only 35 miles apart in location, yet are two of football's most successful clubs. Stevie G will guide us to victory yet again, as we take the #2 spot and continue on our road to glory. YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!

have a good one.

Marto's book list.

OK, so as usual there is nothing much to write about, so I have decided to list what books I've recently read, in case anyone is interested or curious. Also, I've listed a couple of songs that I currently deem worthy of listening to ad nauseum on my mp3 player.

Books:

The Hotel New Hampshire - John Irving. Interesting and well written, about the life and experiences of an American family growing up in New Hampshire and Austria; set during and after World War II.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - J.K. Rowling. I really liked this book, in fact I had trouble putting it down. If only a certain Chuck Norris website hadn't inadvertently ruined the mystery behind the death of a major character. Damn Chuck Norris.
(P.S. If I mysteriously disappear, don't come looking...Chuck took offense to the above line and roundhouse kicked me to the face. He then ate my liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.)

Ghost Wars: The Secret History of the CIA, Afghanistan and Bin Laden - Steve Coll. Highly informative and really well researched; I'm definitely gaining a greater perspective on past and present events in the region. Fascinating.

Music:

Wake Up - The Arcade Fire
Sitting, Waiting Wishing - Jack Johnson
Shadow on the Sun - The Civilian Project (Audioslave)
Music at Work - The Tragically Hip
Running to Stand Still (Live Dublin) - U2
Sunrise - Norah Jones
Jesus Walks - Kanye West
Gold Digger - Kanye West (ft. Jamie Foxx)
Almost Martyrs (from the Life of David Gale soundtrack) - Jake Parker...this is the music featured in the Munich trailer. I obsessed about it until I found the piece of music.

OK peeps, that's what I'm doing these days. Any music recommendations? I'm all ears :)

Am I gullible?

We all get those stupid emails once in a while. It's usually a riddle. And the only way you can "get" the answer is to send it to 10 people, at which point the answer will "magically" appear on your screen. My question is this: has anyone who has ever sent out an email like the one above EVER gotten the expected result? EVER?

Now, I'm no computer genius, hell I'd love my Commoddore 64 back, with Larry the Lounge Lizard 4 (your goal is to have sex, and that's pretty cool for a computer game if you ask me), but I know that for something to "magically" appear on the screen there needs to be some sort of program, or programming code, stored on your computer. (Correct me if I am wrong). And since the majority of the time these emails don't come with an executable file (.exe), how on G-d's green earth will some magic answer genie appear on my screen?

So why, oh why, do I continue, in my delusional state, to send out these f'n stupid emails to people, hoping against hope that some miraculous computer genie will pop up and answer the stupid riddle? He never appears.

I'm a sucker. Chances are you are too.
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P.S To those of you who received the riddle, I apologize. The answer, for those who want to know, is: LANGUAGE. Figure it out.

Odds and ends

Have you ever wondered how one gets into race car driving? I mean sure, at one point all guys probably imagine themselves driving a race car, but how does one end up actually doing that for a living? Seriously, it's not like you can get together with friends and say "Ok guys, what today? Soccer, hockey, basketball? Or how about race car driving? We never do that anymore!"

The only race track I've ever been to involved horses. Betting on the ponies, I like to call it. Because that sounds f'n cool, let's face it. And by betting I mean picking the horse with the coolest f'n name: like Mystic Fire, or Wind In My Sails or Morning Breeze.

And that's pretty much all I got.

Have a great weekend.

(BRING ON THE SPURS! Crouch in the 10th, 31st, 45th, and 82nd!)

Apologies

Hey all,

I apologize for the lack of updates - I am trying to get my life sorted out, so my mindless rants take on much less importance. Met with a resume/job coach today, and I'll be busy with a new game plan in the next few weeks.

Poker was bloody awful today. Limit Hold'em. Only played for a short while, but got..massacred, and I didn't play badly either. Situation like getting dealt K-K and my opponent having A-A. Or getting dealt K-K and the opponent calling A-K to the river and hitting an ace! Or flopping trips, only to lose to runner runner flush/straight! Or in one massive pot, raised 4 times preflop, hitting trip 5's on a flop of 5-8-6, only to lose to trip 6's, with max betting all the way down (by a guy with K-K)! Anyhow, bad beat central unfortunately.

That's all folks, it's late/early.

cheers and hamba gashle (zulu).

Ant Farm

I'm stepping into the deep end on this one, so if you're in search of lighter fare, please feel free to make like a tree and get the hell outta here.

Do you ever take a second to step back and think about our existence on this planet? Or, for that matter, whether your life has any meaning? Do you question the purpose behind everyday conceits such as buying brand name clothes or working out? If you don't, chances are you're an ant. (ahem, this will be cleared up shortly.)

By all accounts, humans will inhabit Earth for a relatively miniscule amount of time. A couple of thousand years out of millions. You and me, we will live for an average of 75 years, perhaps 77 if you're female. We are, after all, biological beings, and as such have to endure the same cycle of life and death that afflicts all others. The circle of life, Simba.

Ants, for example. We have all seen ant farms, or at least can imagine the concept. These ants run around, each with a specific task, never questioning the reason behind their actions. They are constantly scurrying around, going about their business, without a care in the world. They know they have a task to be done, and do it blindly. They work and then they die, to be replaced by a virtual clone.

When you think about it, Earth could be a giant ant farm, with humans taking over the parts of ants. Do YOU ever stop to think whether what you're doing has an impact on ANYTHING? What's the point of it all? A while back, I was a trader. Buying and selling thousands of shares within minutes. Creating nothing, building nothing. Except a bank account, which allowed me to buy more crap that I don't need or particularly want.

Why do we feel the need to buy brand name clothes, when the only purpose of clothes should be its original purpose, to protect us from the elements? What's the point? Why do we count on material items to make us feel good about ourselves? It's all about the newest this, and the fanciest that. Why do we work out? If it is solely for health reasons, then we should all be doing cardio and nothing else. Forget abs and pecs and lats and protein shakes. Vanity leads to insanity. Pissed off because someone didn't call when they said they would? Or upset because traffic made you late? Who gives a shit. These trivial things needlessly consume our lives. Take a second and step back to look at the canvass upon which you're painting your life. Smell the roses.

Our time on this planet is precious. Find out what's important to you, what makes you happy. Do it.

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OK, I'm done for now. PEACE.
M.L.

Good for you Dave...

Though it's early in the year, I think I've just watched the best 10 minutes of TV of 2006. Dave Letterman has always had his moments, but tonight he just was on a whole new level. Dave was interviewing Bill 'O Reilly of the O' Reilly Factor, on Fox News, which is anything but "Fair and Balanced" news journalism. Anyhow, Bill started off on an innocuous rant about being politically correct around "holiday" time, which Letterman seemed content with. Then Bill moved on to a subject that Dave obviously took offense to (something said by the mother of a dead U.S soldier in Iraq), because he quickly became highly adversarial. The audience must have been shocked because I certainly was. The next few minutes made for intense television. Dave actually told O Reilly "60% of the things you say is complete crap", then made a sarcastic crack about being "fair and balanced", and joked about how he hasn't seen O' Reilly's show. O Reilly did his best to defend himself, but whenever Dave made a negative remark the audience applauded loudly, and he must have felt as if it was a personal attack, which it was.

Anyway, amazing T.V. You had to be there.

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Anyhow, as I was eating Cheetos today, I had a revelation:

These chips are fucking fantastic.


:)

Back to the Blog

Hello peeps...

Happy New Year! 2006. I turn 27 in about 23 days. When I was younger, and blissfully naive, I had quite a different view of where I'd be when I reached this age. I thought I'd be retired, living on my own secluded paradise island, surrounded by palm trees, the turquoise Caribbean, and plenty of scantily clad women. I'd do nothing but swim, play soccer, listen to Roxette, read Archie comics, and watch Indiana Jones movies (of course, I was about 9 years old when I imagined this...now my tastes have obviously matured, I'd be reading Tintin, listening to The Police and watching James Bond).

So today, on the can, taking a break from watching "Goldfinger" in my jammies, I picked up a Archie magazine, and part of my vision was realized.

OK, you caught me. Now I'm just blatantly lying as opposed to just making shit up.

I have no idea where I'm going with this. This post is piss poor and I apologize profusely. Actually, I guess there is a point to all this. There is a dichotomy between where I am and where I want to be. My new year's resolution is to get myself closer to where I want to be, which though it might look otherwise, is galaxies away from where I am. I think if everyone had this goal, the world would be a better place.

Excuse my poor attempt at profundity. I am getting old.

Cheers.

P.S. Playing poker again, for better or worse. This week, for better.