It's all about biology.

OK, so I was watching a dating show called Matchmaker the other day. I know, I have a lot of time on my hands, so sue me. Anyhow, this guy was hooked up with this smoking hot blonde, who had the face of an angel and the body of Jessica Alba. I will call her Angalba. On top of those ridiculous stats she was sassy like Natalie Portman in "Closer" - in short, the perfect girl. And Angalba is all over him from the start, like Jetboy on a bag of chips. I kid, I kid.

So he's playing it cool, and the more nonchalant he is, the more she starts acting up, trying to get his attention. When she leans in to slap him playfully, he acts like he's just been stung by a bee. By the time they get to the beach (hello gratuitous bikini shots!), she is basically throwing herself at him. Hmm, I think. He could be onto something. She's basically the hot girl in the club, who needs attention to validate her fragile self-image. Everyone's insecure, it's just a matter of who shows it and who doesn't. Like a cat on a string, he gives her a little attention then pulls back, making her work for his affection. Suddenly he's the one being chased. (Hmm, that cat-string theory is great, I should trademark that.)

Anyhow, at dinner my image of her falls apart. He's still doing his schtick and Angalba has moved on to nibbling his ear and kissing his neck, reminding me of a cute little bunny.
Then she says something like:

"Hey, I dig you, you're really cool, you're a great guy. You're super hot. I'd love to see you again. Now tell me about me. What do you think?"

Him: I'm intrigued. (I'm thinking, this guy is classic!)

Algalba (whiny): More about me!
(at this point she wants to be told she has the face of an angel and the body of Alba, and it's also the point where I think, jesus I was right!)

And I'm already getting embarrassed for her when she blurts out the following:

"I'm the type of girl who's really independent and I take care of myself financially, I mean like really well. But I just want to know, should we hook up, would you be able to support me? I mean, I'm not looking to date some broke dude. I need my Gucci watches and Prada bags."

Now I'm really embarrassed for her, and now she just seems pathetic. I mean, who says that on a first date? But really, it's all about evolution. She needs shelter and protection. She needs someone to return at night with a dead deer carcass over his shoulder while she boils the water and tends to the potatoes. Most girls just aren't as straight forward. There are some insights to be learned here, but I will not repeat them.

And that is my random post of the month. Love it or leave it.

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