on the town....

So these last few weeks have been quite entertaining. The Spaniard was in town, and in my attempt to show him that Toronto is a half-decent city, I found out that Toronto is actually quite the half-decent city. Not fully decent, like New York, Sydney, London, Barcelona or Hong Kong - and lest I forget, Cape Town. But it has its charms. Some people think the weather's a slight issue. Sure, like the solitary bullet in the chamber is a slight issue to the man playing Russian roullette. The cold quite simply sucks. I dislike it. And were it to appear in front of me in human form I would kick it in the balls and then insult its mama.

I've eaten so much late night Chinese food that I should probably change my nickname to General Tao. And my stomach is still filled with a swimming pool of rye and ginger, Corona and cheap rum - what I imagine Courtney Love's bathtub looks like. F'n slag.

Anyhow I am boring myself to tears again. So perhaps another break is in order. That fucking muse is still on hiatus.

I leave you with some magic from a man I like to call Larry D:

'[Larry is following directions that told him to make a turn when he saw a barn]
Larry: Was that a barn? Was that a barn? I think it was too small to be a barn, it looked more like a stable. There was a cow there, does that mean... what? That it could have been a barn? There's no cows in barns. There's cows on a farm. Are there always barns on farms? There are stables in farms, right, but not necessarily barns? I don't think that was the barn.'

[Larry is making small talk during a long, boring car ride with Cheryl]
Larry: You ever had a fresh grape? Huh? I've had... I've had fresh *apples*. Never had a fresh *grape*. Never... had a fresh *cherry*. Never had a fresh *pear*. Never *seen* a pear. Never saw a pear outside of a fruit stand.

Genius!
ciao amigos.
____________________________________________________________________